So you are noticing something is off in your friendship, whether it is a toxic relationship or just a friendship that is starting to fade, you just don’t connect that much anymore.
In this video, I will dig into three different kinds of friendship fallouts and how to deal with them because this is pretty tricky stuff.
I am Laura Cragun and I’m a Coach, Speaker, and YouTube and Podcaster. I help faith-based women find a strong sense of self, break free of the overwhelm, and find more connection with others. And by the end of this video, You’ll be able to identify which particular fallout is your relationship, and have actionable ways on how to work on it rather than having it fester, because that can be really, really draining.
So there are three different kinds of relationship fallouts that I know will bring you a lot of clarity.
1. Clear Ending Friendship
So let’s jump into the first and most scary one, and that is the clear ending friendship. This is when you know it is a toxic friend. Your stomach is a knots when you’re with them, even before you go and see them. They bring drama into your life and you know, deep down inside that this friendship is just not good for you. Maybe they have violated your trust.
Or you don’t feel safe around them, or they’re not in alignment with your own values,
Whatever it may be. You may need to have a clear conversation with them or write them a letter. You will tell them what you will do and not ask for permission. You’ll end it there and move on with your life. Confrontation is so hard and I just wanna run away and hide in a whole and I’m sure many of you feel that same way, but sometimes it is so needed.
This conversation could be either a written letter, verbally, a text, or a phone call. I know you can do it, sister, if you’re in this case.
And like I said, you’ll feel so much better after this because it’s not festering anymore, and you’ll finally be able to heal. And fortunately, these situations don’t happen very often, but these next two fallouts happen a lot more than we think.
2. Classy Fade Out Friendship
Number two is called a classy fade out. So this kind of friendship might look like you were friends, because of a particular life stage that you were in. But now you are done with that and you’ve kind of grown apart.
Now it feels forced and you struggle on how to stay connected with each other, and that is okay, especially if you’re anyone like me that has been through parts and years in my life that I have gone through so many changes. And sometimes then you become a different person and thus your friendships might start to be different or look different. And those past friendships, your interests might not align and be the same.
For example, maybe your kids did a play together and you volunteered to be part of that play, and the other mom did as well, and you had a lot of time together. But now, later down the road, you just don’t have enough time together and you disconnected with that and it’s just not quite the same, and you don’t have that depth of friend.
Or maybe you had some gym friends and you now just go, don’t go to that gym anymore. And now what feels natural with them is just to give them some love on social media and comment and like every once in a while on what they’re doing there.
All of these things are okay in very natural occurrences. Especially as busy women that we just wanna connect and we do along the way in our life.
It may also be that you were pretty close at one point. Maybe you were really good friends at high school but now you hardly get together and when you do, it feels weird and forced and not very natural, and that’s totally okay too. The friendship isn’t serving you, and maybe it’s not serving them too. It can fade out in a classy way, and you can move forward without regret.
A great thing that I like to do as part of this and what really helps is to write a little journal entry and how you’re grateful for that friendship and what it did for you during that time; looking back on that time with fond memories so that now you can move forward. Gratitude is so helpful in healing
3. Pause for Now
Number three, the pause for now friendship. This is a great example for friends that you still want to keep in your. They still inspire you and you love being with them, but you just don’t have the mental bandwidth right now. Maybe you just had a baby or, you got a new house, or you just had a big job change. They’re great friends, but you just can’t do all the things.
Have an honest conversation with them. That is just not your season, but you really do hope to get together with them in the future. These kind of friendships happen a lot I’ve found with faith-based because you might have a lot of friends from your mission or in wards or in callings that you did together.
But how mature would it be if someone really did just honor their truth? Realize that they can’t do it all, but of course want to and have a quick conversation about it without losing that relationship. A lot of times friendships are lost because of this particular scenario.
Don’t let that happen! You can still nurture it from a distance like we do on social media, of course. But when you know that it is time again that you can reach out and reconnect just like you did his old friend.
So if you want more inspiration and friendly messages like this sent straight to your phone via text, text the word STRONG to 801-515-3609. Let’s be texting friends!
And if you like this video, check my previous video, “How to Make Adult Friendship as a Grown Woman” where I go over the five “W” questions on how to make friends without it being awkward. Thank you for watching and we’ll see you next time.
Xo,
Laura