Think about that one person that you know that no matter what they do, they have this amazing ability to keep a strong sense of self. And it’s in the way that they walk into a room, accomplish goals and tasks, and even when they have failures, they’re relatable and contagious to be around because you can feel that positive energy within them.
That Person, my friend, has a lot of wisdom and has found a strong sense of self.
and you too can have that ability to be authentically YOU.
I am Laura Cragun and I am a Coach and Speaker, YouTube and Podcaster. And I am also a Self-Discovery Master and Connection Expert. And by the end of this video, I will teach you what it means to have a STRONG Sense of Self and what it takes to get there, because don’t we all want that.
So let me start out with my story.
So just like you, I’m sure I have turned to other sources to help me fill enough, striving for the good opinions of others, staying productive and busy all the time. And settling for an overwhelmed and busy life. As a young mom and wife of three kids, I didn’t have a strong sense of self, and the effects of that weren’t going to last any longer.
In 2020, I hit my rock bottom. I had a year long mental health crisis.
And through my journey of severe depression and anxiety, suicide ideation, disorders, and going through a month long treatment center to help me away from my family, I needed to overhaul my relationship with myself and with others and with my connection with God, and through that time and that learning and that hard work…
I had an epiphany…
Self Sacrificing, Avoiding my feelings and looking for outside validation was never going to fill that hole in my heart. I knew that there had to be a better way, and through much trial and error, God led me to find that answer I’ve been looking for.
So I worked hard and I was determined, and I really did find that healing. I have fallen in love with that process of knowing and loving myself and becoming the very best version of myself. That connection I have with others is sweeter and better than it ever has been before because I know who I am in the whole relationship, and in turn I can know and love and help them and it’s better than it’s ever been before.
And last but not least, my Savior has pulled me out of that dark and has healed me and my heart forever.
This whole story of me sets the stage perfectly for defining what a strong sense of self is. You can totally see it in my transformation story.
A strong sense of self Is best described in Maya Angelou’s words that there is a place in everyone in their heart that you must keep pristine from any other outside sources.
You know your value and nothing can sway you from that.
This gives you so much more power and energy in your life. More than you can even ever imagine. A lot of people call it inner truth alignment, self-confidence, happiness. They all have one thing in common. They all have a strong sense of self.
Now that we know what it means, and we’ve defined what a strong sense of self is, let’s keep this simple and talk about three ways that we can strengthen.
- Stop People Pleasing
This is a whole video in and of itself that I can do and I probably will in the future. And I can imagine if you’re here, you’re probably a current or recovering people pleaser, and I know I was. This also can be synonymous with self-sacrificing as well. So over the years of pleasing people, I am sure you have gathered a ton of resentment. You can let all that go as you start voicing your needs and wants in your life. Your opinion matters, and you start to learn how to communicate your assertiveness. This will help strengthen your sense of self and start to voice your needs and wants.
This is where boundaries come in. And I know boundaries is a hot topic and a lot of people are talking about it, but let me just talk about it for a brief moment. Boundaries are not about telling what others will do, it is communicating to that other person what you will do if something happens or if they do something.
This self-focused type of coaching concept is so powerful and effective because we believe, I’m sure as faith-based women here, that we have so much power in our own agency, we really can only and truly control ourselves.
- Self-care AND Self-Discovery
Giving yourself enough time for self-care and discovery. As another assumption…and if you are here and feel connected to me, I can imagine you are an HSP or empath.
HSP means Highly Sensitive Person and as a highly sensitive person or empath (and I’m sure you’ve heard those terms go around) you might not be giving yourself enough time to take care of yourself every single day or you overload yourself every day.
You take in more stimuli. You have that keen ability to take those things in and understand that world around you, in a way that no one else can! Thus you tire out a little bit more easily, you’re a little bit more sensitive, and you have a way of expressing that in such a way that you stress out.
So it’s important to give yourself enough downtime, enough time to nurture yourself and really get to know yourself, and that will help strengthen that sense of self, that you know what you can handle, how to TRULY care for this body, for this person, because it has been given to you! You learn how to overcome feelings of guilt and shame when you start to give yourself more time and learn how to listen to your own body.
Plus, like I said, carving out enough time for you to explore your curiosity and your vigor for life. When was the last time you really started to learn about something new and just be curious and have different interests?
So let me tell you an example of both of those sites for me.
My Self Care:
I have three things that I have to do every day in order to keep me at a level baseline.
- Holy Time every day, (which is prayer, meditation, and some scripture study)
- Movement. And that can look like just a five minute walk outside if I’m not doing too well that day, or a whole hour bike ride if I want to.
- Getting Sunshine or being out in Nature of some kind.
This helps me function at my best and keeps me at that better level every single day so I can care for everyone else because I’m a mom as well and I have to take care of these little kids around me.
It is an act of self-care to choose and make time for that exploration.
Recently, I have been into music more and thinking about how I would love to compose or create my own lyrics and melodies. There’s something powerful about the creation that we need in our life every day that is an act of self-love to discover who we are, and it builds a strong sense of self.
So if you’re looking for more support on how to build a strong sense of self and have lasting connections in your life as well,
My Strong Sense of Self: 12-Week Program is for you. It is my signature process that helps you find peace and freedom in your life and it has been for many women that I have coached.
We will create a new you in this process in 90 days. That is the goal, and I can help you get there. Click HERE to learn more.
And if you liked this video, I would love for you to go watch my previous video – “What To Do When a Friendship is Not Going Well”
In that video, I talk about three different types of friendship, fallouts and what to do about them. You will have actionable ways to work on it rather than having it fester because that is really draining on ourselves. So thank you for watching today, my friends. We’ll see you next time.